*A weekly post revisiting some of my previous fictional writing pieces from my old blog*
For any new readers out there that may not already know, I have recently jumped ship from my previous blog and am currently making a tentative home for myself here.
Blogger was like a rickety old cabin the woods, with uneven floorboards and lopsided furniture that smelt of damp. WordPress is more like a modern high-rise apartment. Everything is crisp and clean and there are state-of-the-art gadgets littered throughout the glass and marble rooms. The problem is, I have no idea what any of it does, and the glare from all the newness is almost blinding.
Change takes time to feel familiar.
Today, I am introducing the first of my new (and shiny) Throwback Thursday posts, which will be a series of creative writing posts lifted straight from my old blog and transplanted here for you all to read and enjoy again. What can I say, sometimes we need to take some familiar comforts with us when we move on, as a reminder of who we once were.
I feel like an animal trapped inside this bulging, pasty white flesh. I look down at its ugly nakedness and I want to claw at it, shed it like a skin; rip it from me until blood pulses out of me draining the liquid, pus-like fat from my thighs and hips.
This body is not of me.
It hides me, conceals me.
I hate this lack of control.
Like a drug addict I crave. I am a slave to every bite, every gulp. I give in and I hate it. I need the fix – the sugar, the bread, the act of bringing chunks of food to my mouth, barely chewing, and swallowing. Not enjoying. Just eating.
And then the disgust. The self-loathing as I stand naked and bloated in the mirror, spotty skin, frizzy mess.
This body wins.
I hides me, conceals me.
*originally published 13 April 2011