*A weekly post revisiting some of the previous fictional writing pieces from my old blog*
Inside I am ugly. Gnarled with suspicion every time I look at you. Looking at them, Looking at you.
You tell me you love me, but your words are like vapour, dissolving in the impenetrable air around me. I am numb to your pathetic explanations.
“She’s just a friend.”
“We work together.”
A woman always knows.
You cannot love me because I am ugly on the outside you see? The rot of my mistrust has aged my skin, emptied my eyes. I am not like those pretty, young whores.
I never was.
Cold with inevitability I log on to your emails, your facebook. I read your text messages while you are in the loo. Searching, Watching. Waiting for you to slip up, make a mistake so I can catch you. I will ensnare you like a fly, coil my insecurities around you until you suffocate.
And leave me.
*Originally published 25 July 2011